Progress! (Kind of)

I actually managed to get some studying done today, which is definitely an achievement! I procrastinated for most of today, but managed to get in at least a small session. Considering how unmotivated I've been lately, I'll take what I can get! I did realise that I needed some books from the library before I could actually study for half of my modules, though. Still, it gave me time to cement some things in my mind.

Morphology is a really interesting subject, but it can really send you to sleep sometimes. My lecture yesterday was an example of this. Learning about affixes, compounds and other things. I remember affixes and compounds, but the rest I kind of daydreamed through while taking notes on autopilot. I suppose I'm lucky to be able to do that. I can pay no attention whatsoever to the lecturer, and still manage to make all the notes I need. Which is useful when in the middle of a lecture I'd fall asleep in the middle of, should I actually listen.

On a somewhat related note, my sister started a distance learning course recently. She did one on Creative Writing last year, but this time she's doing Criminology. She's always been interested in it, so I'm glad she's finally able to do it.

I'm starting to really long for the little studio flat we'll be moving into in September. There are so many of us in one house, it's hard to find quiet at most times of the day and evening. At least when my boyfriend is at university I'd have my solitude. It makes studying easier, because no one can distract me. Which is most of my problem. I tend to whine to people about studying, rather than just getting on with it. Still, not long to go, really.

Really need to start sleeping more...

~Nat

Better than expected...

I rolled out of bed this morning, freezing cold and feeling ill. Not the best start to an early morning! I threw on whatever came to hand that was clean, added some extra layers to fend off the cold, and was on my way to uni within around twenty minutes.

The day stayed steadily slightly rubbish, until after my last class. We each had a meeting with our tutor to discuss our most recent piece of coursework, and I was feeling slightly awkward. The piece in question I wrote when I was going through a particularly stressful patch in the first term, and didn't actually manage to finish because I couldn't find any resources in our library. So, naturally, I thought she'd chew me out, and tell me it was shite. She was actually really sympathetic and concerned, which threw me slightly. She said she saw potential, and said I seemed to understand the topic... and passed me. Which is good!

After, I got to see my lovely Canadian friend, Tanya, which was definitely a load of fun. While we were hanging out, we bumped into another old friend, which was brilliant as I haven't seen her in ages!

On the subject of motivation, I actually made a list of things I intend to do. Whether I'll stick to it (or even look at it again) is another matter entirely. I have high hopes, however! Maybe I'll manage it, maybe I won't. Trying gives me a few points, at least!

Back to uni tomorrow for another early morning. Wondering if my plan for a study day with my friend Kelly will actually go ahead. Or whether we'll end up just chatting to Rhi and Clee for the entire time. Also, I'm wearing heels for the first time in ages, screw the weather. ^^

That's when I realised...

I'm a procrastinator.

Don't get me wrong, I'd love to be incredibly active, and do many different things. But somehow I always end up sat on my arse. Which isn't helpful when I start boredom eating. That leads to needing to pull the "Fat girl angle shot" whenever I'm in a picture. Fail.

So, I'm in my second term of my first year at Uni. My first term started very well, I did all of the reading, and kept up with the textbooks. And then after the Christmas holidays, my motivation kind of died. Now, I haven't done any of the reading I'm supposed to be doing, I've missed classes through oversleeping and generally feeling so miserable that I couldn't bare to face seminars. I must have the kind of face that looks knowledgeable, because they always ask me questions. Fuck off and ask someone who isn't hanging over their desk, trying to will themselves into a coma.

I barely did enough work for the first few pieces of coursework I was given, and I'm fearing a pattern of procrastination has emerged. Don't you just hate it when that happens? Trying to motivate myself hasn't worked so far. I just end up sat in front of my computer, looking at Facebook, eBay, Fmylife.com, and generally taking the "ignore it and it'll go away... eventually." stance.

This is a perfectly fine view to take. Unless it's related to something like university. I don't want thousands of pounds of debt, only to drop out because I couldn't be arsed to do the work! It's not like the work is even that difficult, I just can't actually be bothered. I haven't touched my textbooks for this term, for the same reason. HELP.

Still, things aren't all bad. Finally put a deposit down on a studio flat for next year! This is a very good thing, as my boyfriend and I are currently living in my parents' dining room that has been turned into a bedsit of sorts. My mother wants her dining room back, I want to get the hell out, so the fact that we secured this place is a very good thing. Let's just hope I can try to make myself into a better organised and more motivated woman by then. Or, well... I'm fucked. ^^

~Nat